Tommy
December 18, 2010
“To be young again!”
I hate that quote! Whenever my parents have friends over they see me in the play room coloring, napping, or playing with my wrestlers and one of those always pipes in with “To be young again!” or “Kids, they have it easy!”. The envy in their eyes sickens me every time. You get online, spend an hour through one of the various social networks and you’ll see it pasted everywhere; whining and complaining about how easy it was to be a kid.
Does anyone actually remember how it is to be a kid? When their eyes flood with lust as they watch my lifestyle, do they have any idea what they’re actually starving for? Of course not, no one remembers how things were as a kid. Take a second and actually remember your childhood, not the things you did, not the way people responded to you, I’m talking about your mindset. Think about your mindset as a child. Do you remember it? Bits and pieces? Anything at all?
“To be young again” is a saying of regret and lack of drive. Why do you need so desperately to be young again? Don’t want to have to pull on your big boy trousers and head out into the real world? Some boy broke your heart and you wish you didn’t have a care in the world? Get over it! Take your pathetic, cries of how unfair the world is and find someone who gives a darn! It’s not me, and trust me, it’s not your friends. You want to be young again? Geeze, I’m a child and I’m more willing to take responsibility and push forward than you are! Sit around and cry about growing old all you want, but trust me, If “being young again” means you’re going to be like me then I consider that an insult.
I think if grown ups (or annoying teenagers who think they have it bad) would remember the mindset of a child they would realize that being young wasn’t easy either. Sure, I may not have to worry about paying for a car or the lack of kissing in my marriage, but you think I got it easy? Just last week Barry from down the street stuck my shoes in an ant bed. You’re over there crying about not getting a text back from Chad while my feet are on fire!
Why grown ups even bother with kissing is way beyond me! Let me tell you a story about a girl I met in second grade, just a few months ago. Her name was Crystal, she came from a school in Scarcramento California. She had big, blonde curls, blue eyes, and rosy cheeks! Some of the kids in class called her Santa Claus because of how rosy her cheeks were. I chimed in from time to time, but after spending thirty minutes staring at the corner it stops being funny. One day while I was biting the legs off my animal crackers she came and sat next to me. I tried my best to keep to myself, I had a new bakugan and chocolate milk, what could Crystal offer that would interest me in the slightest?
“You’re cute.” she said, sipping apple juice through her bendy straw.
If that’s not a good enough reason for you “grown ups” to be more appreciative then I don’t know what is! Have you ever had a random girl call you cute? It’s weird! I felt like throwing up. The sad part is, it didn’t even stop there!
“You should be my boyfriend!” she said all girly, trying to hold my hand!
Look, I don’t believe in cooties, I think it’s a conspiracy that a fat kid made up to make sure NOBODY get’s a girlfriend if he can’t have one. But regardless of that, there are still a bazillion other reasons why I wouldn’t want a girlfriend! One, kissing is gross. Two, she’ll take my toys. Three, IF cooties are real, I certainly don’t want them.
I refused to look at her, but I could still hear her. She was breathing like a mad dog, giggling randomly, it was disgusting. I grabbed my bakugan and stormed away. Story over, right? Wrong! The next day I was eating lunch again, same spot, this time a peanut butter sandwich. Guess who shows up?!
“My mommy said it’s ok if you’re my boyfriend, we just can’t kiss too much.” she said, smiling and popping in the seat next to me.
“Gross!” I screamed, not being able to contain my frustration any longer.
I know it’s mean to yell gross at girls, but kiss her too much? Unless once is too much then I am not interested in what her mommy says.
“Can we hold hands?” she asked, popping up with a huge smile flashing at me.
“No! I don’t like girls!” I yelled, grabbing my bakugan and storming out again.
Story over, right? I wish! The next day I come back to lunch, same spot, this time I brought my friends Josh and Tyler. I felt safe, like I had a human wall blocking me from Crystal. She came skipping into the room, making eye contact with me and giving me a big wave.
“Here she comes, guys.” I said as I lowered my head and looked down at my fish sticks.
“She’s cute!” Tyler said, nudging me.
“You’re gonna marry her!” Josh added.
I couldn’t believe it! My human wall had turned against me! Before I could express my unhappiness with their comments they had jumped out of their seats and charged to the playground. This was it, I was done for! Crystal was going to be here again, tell me again how I would be her boyfriend, and try and kiss me… again! Am I the ONLY one who cares about staying pure from girls?
“Hi!”
“Why do you keep bothering me?” I asked her as she sat down and scooted her chair close to me.
“You’re my boyfriend, silly!”
“No, I’m not!” I yelled.
And for the first time, Crystal seemed to listen. I watched her as her face went into a pale terror and her eyes began swelling up in tears. Her rosy cheeks became wet and her voice let out a high pitch sound that resembled a bark. Maybe she was half dog? Girls are evil, I wouldn’t rule it out. She grabbed her stuff up from the table and charged away from me.
Thankfully this was the last day she bothered me and I’ve been Crystal free! No more barking, no more crying, no more trying to touch me, no more wanting to kiss me, no more of her curls, no more of her Santa Claus cheeks, and no more her staring at me with that dumb smile on her face!
So, next time you’re complaining about your big, busy, sad life, think about what I have to go through! You want to cry about being lonely or being bored? Least you don’t have to deal with some weirdo having a crush on you! If that’s isn’t inspiration for you grown ups to look on the bright side then I don’t know what is!
-Tommy
I hate that quote! Whenever my parents have friends over they see me in the play room coloring, napping, or playing with my wrestlers and one of those always pipes in with “To be young again!” or “Kids, they have it easy!”. The envy in their eyes sickens me every time. You get online, spend an hour through one of the various social networks and you’ll see it pasted everywhere; whining and complaining about how easy it was to be a kid.
Does anyone actually remember how it is to be a kid? When their eyes flood with lust as they watch my lifestyle, do they have any idea what they’re actually starving for? Of course not, no one remembers how things were as a kid. Take a second and actually remember your childhood, not the things you did, not the way people responded to you, I’m talking about your mindset. Think about your mindset as a child. Do you remember it? Bits and pieces? Anything at all?
“To be young again” is a saying of regret and lack of drive. Why do you need so desperately to be young again? Don’t want to have to pull on your big boy trousers and head out into the real world? Some boy broke your heart and you wish you didn’t have a care in the world? Get over it! Take your pathetic, cries of how unfair the world is and find someone who gives a darn! It’s not me, and trust me, it’s not your friends. You want to be young again? Geeze, I’m a child and I’m more willing to take responsibility and push forward than you are! Sit around and cry about growing old all you want, but trust me, If “being young again” means you’re going to be like me then I consider that an insult.
I think if grown ups (or annoying teenagers who think they have it bad) would remember the mindset of a child they would realize that being young wasn’t easy either. Sure, I may not have to worry about paying for a car or the lack of kissing in my marriage, but you think I got it easy? Just last week Barry from down the street stuck my shoes in an ant bed. You’re over there crying about not getting a text back from Chad while my feet are on fire!
Why grown ups even bother with kissing is way beyond me! Let me tell you a story about a girl I met in second grade, just a few months ago. Her name was Crystal, she came from a school in Scarcramento California. She had big, blonde curls, blue eyes, and rosy cheeks! Some of the kids in class called her Santa Claus because of how rosy her cheeks were. I chimed in from time to time, but after spending thirty minutes staring at the corner it stops being funny. One day while I was biting the legs off my animal crackers she came and sat next to me. I tried my best to keep to myself, I had a new bakugan and chocolate milk, what could Crystal offer that would interest me in the slightest?
“You’re cute.” she said, sipping apple juice through her bendy straw.
If that’s not a good enough reason for you “grown ups” to be more appreciative then I don’t know what is! Have you ever had a random girl call you cute? It’s weird! I felt like throwing up. The sad part is, it didn’t even stop there!
“You should be my boyfriend!” she said all girly, trying to hold my hand!
Look, I don’t believe in cooties, I think it’s a conspiracy that a fat kid made up to make sure NOBODY get’s a girlfriend if he can’t have one. But regardless of that, there are still a bazillion other reasons why I wouldn’t want a girlfriend! One, kissing is gross. Two, she’ll take my toys. Three, IF cooties are real, I certainly don’t want them.
I refused to look at her, but I could still hear her. She was breathing like a mad dog, giggling randomly, it was disgusting. I grabbed my bakugan and stormed away. Story over, right? Wrong! The next day I was eating lunch again, same spot, this time a peanut butter sandwich. Guess who shows up?!
“My mommy said it’s ok if you’re my boyfriend, we just can’t kiss too much.” she said, smiling and popping in the seat next to me.
“Gross!” I screamed, not being able to contain my frustration any longer.
I know it’s mean to yell gross at girls, but kiss her too much? Unless once is too much then I am not interested in what her mommy says.
“Can we hold hands?” she asked, popping up with a huge smile flashing at me.
“No! I don’t like girls!” I yelled, grabbing my bakugan and storming out again.
Story over, right? I wish! The next day I come back to lunch, same spot, this time I brought my friends Josh and Tyler. I felt safe, like I had a human wall blocking me from Crystal. She came skipping into the room, making eye contact with me and giving me a big wave.
“Here she comes, guys.” I said as I lowered my head and looked down at my fish sticks.
“She’s cute!” Tyler said, nudging me.
“You’re gonna marry her!” Josh added.
I couldn’t believe it! My human wall had turned against me! Before I could express my unhappiness with their comments they had jumped out of their seats and charged to the playground. This was it, I was done for! Crystal was going to be here again, tell me again how I would be her boyfriend, and try and kiss me… again! Am I the ONLY one who cares about staying pure from girls?
“Hi!”
“Why do you keep bothering me?” I asked her as she sat down and scooted her chair close to me.
“You’re my boyfriend, silly!”
“No, I’m not!” I yelled.
And for the first time, Crystal seemed to listen. I watched her as her face went into a pale terror and her eyes began swelling up in tears. Her rosy cheeks became wet and her voice let out a high pitch sound that resembled a bark. Maybe she was half dog? Girls are evil, I wouldn’t rule it out. She grabbed her stuff up from the table and charged away from me.
Thankfully this was the last day she bothered me and I’ve been Crystal free! No more barking, no more crying, no more trying to touch me, no more wanting to kiss me, no more of her curls, no more of her Santa Claus cheeks, and no more her staring at me with that dumb smile on her face!
So, next time you’re complaining about your big, busy, sad life, think about what I have to go through! You want to cry about being lonely or being bored? Least you don’t have to deal with some weirdo having a crush on you! If that’s isn’t inspiration for you grown ups to look on the bright side then I don’t know what is!
-Tommy
Posted by Lenton Lees.
What of it? Read about meh!
